Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
