its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
