Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
