She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize