Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
