Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
