Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
