What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize