i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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