i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
