I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I still have a little drunk in my system
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
