His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
