i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
