just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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