I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize