I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize