Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
