I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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