he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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