her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize