My friends, they love my intelligence
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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