so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
