Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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