I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
