The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize