So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
