he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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