He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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