she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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