Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
