There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
