thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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