and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
