I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
