so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
