So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
