I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
