i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
