Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
