She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
