I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
