Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
