I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You made out with two different species that night
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
