I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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