a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
