I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize