we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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