Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
