ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
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