u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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