We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
