What a fucking waste of an outfit
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Randomize
