My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
being pregnant is like rehab
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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