Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
