that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
