i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
