I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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