If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Will exercising make me less horny?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
