The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Let the clothes fall where they may.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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