so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
