Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
