i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
