he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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