And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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