Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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