And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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