A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Can Purell be used as lube?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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