i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
